Only One Thing is Needed

A Soft Returning

Hello ♡,

After a little respite away from my regular world I return to you not much wiser, but much softer and more rested. It takes access to rest to feel any softness, doesn’t it? Otherwise the world is too loud, too fast, and too harsh to allow for it.

I didn’t really want to come back to my regular life. Don’t mistake that for not wanting to come back to the people and the dogs, I always want to return and be with them. It’s just that the world is so loud, and fast, and impossible for me (shocker) to solve. I’d really like to be more helpful with the world, but I find I am limited and human. So, I might as well stay soft and vulnerable because that is how, ironically, I believe I am most helpful.

I decided something really profound when I returned: I don’t like Instagram. Or, I should say, I remembered I don’t like Instagram. I felt it in my body - all soft from my time away, the tension that accompanied Instagram was striking. It’s just too much and it’s just too rigged with the algorithm. And yet, I am a writer sharing my work in this modern world. And then I realized, or should I say remembered, what I also don’t like: spinning my wheels in the mud trying to make something happen that I actually have no control over. Let me translate this - I can’t make people find my work or my book. The book is doing wonderful (!), but like a classic human, I found myself thinking I must do more, more, more and returning to a frantic, sweaty, futile, and sloppy attempt to make things happen I can’t control and I am not even sure I want. I am also a really hard worker, which unfortunately means sometimes I invent hard things to work on. And in the writing and publishing world, a lot is up to you. It can be hard to stop. Anyway, it was exhausting. And kind of a rude homecoming to my own issues.

And so I paused.

And I got quiet.

And I asked, What in the heck am I supposed to be doing?

I wondered, Should I go completely offline? Should I stop Instagram? Should I become a reclusive writer (kind of an introvert’s dream if I am honest).

And in that stillness I listened. (A very important part of getting quiet I can often forget.)

And I realized, or should I say remembered, one of my favorite passages in the Bible about Mary and Martha. (If you ‘re uncomfortable with me citing the Bible, stick with me, I promise this isn’t going to get weird.) In the story, Martha is running around all sweaty, in my imagination, prepping and serving, and serving and prepping, for their guests, including the guest of honor, Jesus. And there is Mary, unbelievably, sitting at his feet listening. Obnoxious, unaware, how dare she? Martha, of course, complains to Jesus about this behavior, but his response is like a record scratch for the frantic Martha:

“Don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”

“Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”¹

Guess which woman I identified with?

How about you?

I was indeed getting worked up over nothing and fussing far too much. And I longed to be still and sit quietly.

And I realized, or should I say remembered, that was indeed my choice, a freeing choice, I could make right now.

(A photo from my trip that embodies the feeling for me of choosing to be still.)

And so I did.

I abandoned the whole sweaty, frantic, fussy routine of trying to overwork and make something out of nothing. And I exchanged it for the surrender of choosing the better things - stillness, quiet, trust, contentment, this is enoughness, and presence.

It was the deepest exhale. I felt my soul aligning back to where it belongs, and how it works best. I think I could almost hear it click back into place.

We all have some version of a Mary and Martha dueling it out inside of us. Never enoughism pushing us into frantic overworking, mindlessly producing, having little to no boundaries, or pleasing others at our own expense, and resenting those moving slowly and mindfully around us. And, in all my years of mothering, adulting, and healing therapeutic work, I have yet to see this frenetic pace work well to accomplish much of consequence. Oh sure, there are accomplishments. But they are not the kind that feed the soul.

But can we choose stillness and presence, and still create, work, and serve? It turns out we can. And I am reporting live to you from the process. It feels so much better. It feels more like softness and vulnerability. It feels more like connection than performance. Everything still matters, but I am not squeezing the life out of myself trying to put myself in charge and make things happen. I am instead, sitting down, quite content, and watching in trust what will happen next as I am faithful to each moment and task. One thing, then the next. Only one thing is needed, and I am choosing (for the sake of my soul and my people) what is better.

So, no, I am not quitting Instagram or going into hiding. But I am doing it all from a place of rest, listening, and stillness while I sit down.

And it feels really good to sit down.

With you,

Monica

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Book News!!

Upcoming Event:

Are you in the Davidson or Charlotte NC area? I will be at MainStreet Books in Davidson next week for an author event. Thursday, August 14th at 7 pm. I would love to meet you there! Sign up for free here: RSVP

New Translations:

Your Pain Has a Name is being translated into two more languages, Greek and Ukrainian! We are up to 8 translations now!! It is stunning to watch. And I have to admit, I did no sweating or overworking to make this happen, I am watching in grateful awe.

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More to Come!!

This Fall I will be starting several new series here that I hope will be helpful. I will also be offering paid subscriptions with special added content for those that choose to upgrade to paid. The regular newsletter will remain the same, free to access, which feels right to me.

I’m looking forward to sharing more soon.❤️

1. Luke 10:38-42 (MSG)