Your Weathervane

Why Testing Their Winds can Prove Costly

Hello ♡,

Most of us have one, or several, people we know whose emotional winds blow warm, then cold, without much notice. They approach, they withdraw. They give, they withhold. They are warm, they are cold. The direction of the winds, the temperature and force of those winds, is quite changeable.

What happens if your weathervane is testing their winds? If from inside your soul, you are reaching out and testing the direction it’s blowing? Your internal weather will change too.

Photo by Steve Lieman on Unsplash

We are relational beings. And one of the greatest challenges we all face is how to deal with one another when we are not easy to deal with. When someone is warm one minute, but seems to disapprove of you and withhold the next, it can be confusing, hurtful, and exhausting. And yet, realistically, most of us have some sort of relationship with a weather pattern like this.

What do we do?

I find the idea of pulling the weathervane, the tester of the direction of the winds, back inside to be a helpful one. When we are testing the weather outside of ourselves, the winds can be too variable. This can disrupt our sense of peace, wellbeing, even worth. If we are too attached to someone else’s weather system, our own climate can be impacted in ways we don’t see coming and don’t want or need.

Of course, it is impossible to not feel the winds change outside of you. And I am not suggesting it won’t impact your feelings. But when it does, I am suggesting you pull your weathervane back inside, to a calmer, more predictable place of truth. You have more power on the weather internally, and no power over the weather externally. Their winds may blow this way and that, but the steady breeze of your lovability, your worth, your own sense of grounded peace, doesn’t have to follow their gusts.

We are often testing the weather “out there” without realizing. Many of us are raised to make sure others are ok with us in order that we can feel ok with us. And when the winds change suddenly, this precarious set-up can leave us feeling unstable. So, when it’s windy out there, pull your weathervane back inside. You can create an independent climate. One rooted in stability, love, and peace.

With you,

Monica

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Book News!

As my book is being translated into other languages I am learning the cover will also be changed, and I am wrestling with the subtitle in Portuguese right now. Who knew?

Also, THANK YOU to those of you writing reviews on Amazon and GoodReads. I can’t express enough what this means to me and how it helps new readers find the book. If the book was meaningful for you, please leave a review! GoodReads, Amazon

Finally, I signed some books at Main Street Bookstore in Davidson, NC this week.

I’ll be back on August 14th for an author event! ( I will post more about that soon in case any of you in NC want to come out!)

I have so many genuinely big feelings about this little moment. First, I love supporting independent bookstores. Second, I went to @davidsoncollege and loved the school. And much of what I share about my own vulnerability in my book happened here. And so for me, to be on this end of my journey, adding my voice to fighting the stigma around mental health, helping people name their own pain and find their way homes to themselves is especially significant. I remember feeling lost inside myself on this campus, in spite of so many good things happening too. And it’s another reminder for all of us that no pain, no feeling, no chapter, is final. And that perhaps your story will help others too.