Why It's Never Too Late, and You're Not Too Old

Reporting Live...

Hello ♡,

I am reporting to you live with this truth: It isn’t too late, and you’re not too old. I thought I needed to be a published author in my twenties. I mean, I’d take my thirties as a consolation prize. But here I am in my forties. And let me tell you, I have completely abandoned the lament of “starting sooner,” and embraced instead the earned wisdom of this age. And it’s kind of awesome. I don’t want this to be a pep talk, although it may be a little peppy I admit. I want this week’s newsletter to be an invitation to curiosity about your own story.

Some more good news: What if the whole idea of being “too late” to do something is just a social construct? According to the dictionary definition, social constructs “develop within a society or group. They don't represent objective reality but instead are meaningful only because people within the society or group accept that they have meaning. Simply put, social constructs do not have inherent meaning.”

The point is that these ideas of it being too late or you being too old are all imaginary—they don’t actually exist on their own.

For example, you would likely disagree strongly with the social construct that having wealth makes a person more valuable. You would likely shake your head and say that’s ridiculous! Yet we all fall subject to many social constructs that impact our sense of freedom in our own lives, whether it’s body image, relationship status, or age. I see this most often with “too late” and “too old” ideas. It’s not too late to pursue a dream of any kind; you might have just believed that it was.

But the good news is that beliefs are caught, taught, or chosen. And they are not permanent. You can choose a new belief right now that is more congruent with who you are, and who you are becoming.

Your story may be an unexpected patchwork, but can’t that make something beautiful?

Photo by Chang Ye on Unsplash

Here are some simple steps to deconstructing old beliefs about your timeline, and replacing them with new, more accurate ones:

There is no age limit on making an impact.

As a woman settling into my middle age, I am experientially understanding more and more about our youth-obsessed culture. I always knew it was there, and I’m not surprised, it’s just a new level of understanding to feel the obsession of youth when you are no longer young, and to start the journey of owning your worth at any age. I work with a lot of young people who often feel like a failure because they’re not successful yet: because they haven’t started a non-profit by 22, or their emergence into adulthood isn’t marked by hundreds of thousands of followers on social media. The myth is not only that impact needs to be made when one is young, but that impact needs to be public and large to be meaningful. By that logic, most of us, and most of the people that have impacted us wouldn’t count. We know it isn’t true—that youth holds the only chapters to do the things we dream of—and yet we might still succumb to that false thinking. But there is no age limit to making an impact. And having more years under your belt can create an incredible advantage in perspective, wisdom, adaptability, and gratitude.

Surround yourself with voices you admire.

We sometimes think that mentors have to be people we know. But that is so limiting! I have always wanted a mentor and never had one. But the truth is that you can choose anyone as your “mentor”. Whether that is an author, speaker, podcaster, the list goes on. Find someone out in the world who “went back to school”, did something brave, or is pursuing a new dream that you respect and find everything you can about what they say. Reading their story will inspire you. And for extra credit: Flip the script and imagine your story inspiring someone else. You don’t have to be famous to make an impact. Your brave steps will undoubtedly impact others watching, or looking for someone to help them feel brave.

How do you want to feel?

This is a question I often ask my children when they are up against a big task, or I’m encouraging them to take ownership of a task. I ask them, and now I also ask myself: How do you want to feel about your work, yourself, and your effort at the end of this? This takes the question out of the performance range and into the heart and soul range. This answer is usually pretty simple: Proud of myself, like I tried my best. We stop contemplating how it will look, or the outcome, and start thinking about how we’ll experience the impact of our choices. And so I ask you: How do you want to feel? Think less about what “they” will think, how it will look, and listen closely to how you want to feel. Therein lies a lot of important information for you.

Your story isn’t over yet.

Imagine you’re reading your favorite novel, whether it’s one from when you were a child or one you have read as an adult. You are engrossed in the story, you’re following along, and then abruptly the chapters stop. You’d find yourself flipping through, wondering, “Where is the rest of my favorite story?” Or think about how it feels when you do finish that favorite book or show you love and you just want to read or watch more about the characters you are so invested in, you just want their story to continue—to see what is next. We never think in engaging with our favorite stories - it is too late for them to do that. No, instead we curiously watch what will come next, and we lovingly cheer on our favorite characters and storylines. Why should the story of you be any different? Keep writing the next chapters.

You are a story, a beautiful one, with hard and happy parts, and if you’re still here, the story isn’t over yet.

Write your next chapters. You, and others who are watching, will be so glad to read it.

With you,

Monica

---

Book News!

We are in the process of working on recording dates for the audio book and thinking up launch team ideas, stay tuned! Thank you for every preorder!!

Preorder here today! Or here! Or here! Or anywhere you want to support!