Hello♡,
This is the time of year when, quite predictably, gratitude is discussed. And this is well and good - gratitude is an important practice. Gratitude for what is, or what we have, is beautiful and essential.
And this week, I find myself thinking of gratitude in terms of possibilities too.
What I find myself reflecting on with gratitude is the relief and the hope that can come with: beginning again.
The chance to begin again immediately causes me to exhale, what about you? It directly goes against my tendencies to think fatalistically, or in “all or nothing” terms. It frankly helps me feel less dramatic about allll the things.
In a life that I wish had no mess, no mess ups, no hurt feelings, or things left undone - I find myself instead surrounded often by the messiness of my limitations. I look down, and around, and they are many - and sometimes I rehearse them in the middle of the night, revisiting what I wish I had done differently. I said something with a tense tone when tired, I didn’t finish what I needed to, I had a disagreement I didn’t plan on. I find myself just very human and that includes things not going “according to the plan.”
When I look around me and see what I wish I had done differently - from the simplest superficial things, to the deeper matters of relationships, I have a couple choices. One could be to shame myself for my humanity, maybe you’ve tried this one too. The other could be to simply: begin again.
We can begin again by: forgiving ourselves (a good middle of the night practice), by repairing what hurt we caused with someone, by planning how we will do things differently as a grounding comfort. We can begin again by admitting “defeat,” in a day, and planning to rest and start over fresh tomorrow. We can begin again with caring for our mental, physical, and spiritual selves by making a different choice the next day, the next hour, or the next moment.
The opportunity to begin again is there for us. It is one step away. It is a place of love and acknowledgement - we can begin again because we are loved as we acknowledge and accept the flaws and missteps included in our makeup.
What if beginning again isn’t a failure, but it is part of the plan?
What if the choice to begin again, to lovingly start anew, is grace embodied in a real, up close, gritty, messy life?
I find myself grateful for the opportunity to start over, in little and big ways - not just once but on an as needed basis. Of course not all things in life have that option, and that is a hard reality, but my suspicion is many more things do than we realize.
What might you begin again today?
What might you forgive in yourself to make the space to try again?
With love and gratitude,
Monica
New Still Becoming Episode: 110 - Guided Mediation: Creating a Moment of Emotional Safety
We’ve made a whole month of mostly meditations over on the here app - we’ve made a meditative experience to practice gratitude. Subscribe to the app here.
So many things to be grateful for ... especially for new beginnings!! Thank you