Hello ♡,
You know what I prefer in life? Neat boxes, orderly progress, before and afters, and clear plans with no unexpected murkiness. Can you relate?
And yet, so often, that is the opposite of what life is and what we get.
And, after all my years of sitting in sacred spaces with people, it is just not how it goes most of the time.
I am reflecting this week on the hidden art of healing - of any kind: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, all of the above at once. And how we don’t know we are making the right decisions by the fruit we see often until much later…
We often only know “right now this is what I believe to be the right way to go.” And, any decision to be/feel/know better or different is an artful healing choice that may look different for each of us. I often think of therapy as more of an art than a science, or I should say an art that stands on the foundation of science. Each story is so unique. Each place, each decision, we find ourselves facing so unique.
You also don’t know if the choices you are making will work. There is a trust in the art, a trust in finding your way. You don’t know if choosing to rest rather than push yourself was right until later. You don’t know if trusting your gut is right until later. You don’t know if trusting God with something, rather than over-managing it is right until later. You don’t know if the awkward conversation of setting a boundary, standing up for your kid, or yourself was worth it until later. You can’t know if the faithful work you are doing in your inner life, or physical life, relationships, is working until, well you see it is working.
It is all a trust walk of one step in front of the the other:
This is the way, this is your way.
(And it may look like no one else’s.)
I am in week two of helping my son recover from a severe concussion (that is why there was no newsletter last week, this is shared with his permission, and contribution). This was as scary and full of tears and prayer requests as you may imagine, and thank God he is ok, and should make a full recovery.
He is out of the acute phase, and he is recovering incredibly well according to his doctor. But we didn’t know if each step we took, trusting this is the way, would work. His doctor said, “I hate to tell you this, but even with modern medicine, healing from this type of injury is kind of like groping in the dark.” We knew the way to go (I have the protocol practically memorized) but we wouldn’t know until much later if these decisions were working. Having him resting in a dark room for days, trusting this was the way…
The doctor said each person is unique and will heal at their own rate, and so we just had to trust and take the next step. Isn’t this like much of life? These acute moments show us how much of life is really just one shaky step in front on the other. As he continues to recover well we are still having to make the same decisions, one after the other of what works and what doesn’t, trusting we will be redirected by his return of symptoms if we move too fast or add the wrong thing.
His doctor said to me today, “that is how you know, you try it, and if it feels ok you keep going.”
We are all finding our way, and the art of that is that there is no check-list, no before and after, or neat way that we heal and choose our way forward.
I can imagine we are all facing some unknowns, some hopes, some dreams, some griefs, some longings. We are all taking one step forward at a time, and trusting there is a part in your path that will look like no one else’s, and there is a way you may go, that may be your’s alone. It really is a hidden art, and you really will find your own way.
This may be your way today, trusting in God, trusting the process, trusting each tender footstep forward.
With you,
Monica
PS - I am deep into the process of writing my book right now, and I would appreciate any of your prayers or thoughts as I trust this is my way, the way God has led me, the way forward, sometimes on a chapter by chapter basis. I want this book to be a loving companion for readers, and I appreciate any prayers or thoughts as I tenderly take each step forward. Thank you.
Also!!
You have one more day to sign up for a trip my brilliant friend Patricia Taylor is leading. It is a Legacy Trip to The National Memorial for Peace and Justice in Montgomery, Alabama this summer. I just returned from a trip there myself and I cannot recommend this trip, with Patty leading, enough.
And, I have mentioned it before, but this book is out in the world! I am a huge fan of Tasha Jun and her beautiful writing, and I can’t recommend her work enough. I can’t wait to dive into this stunning book.
This message was so needed today. Marveling at how deeply reassuring it is to hear, “You won’t know for sure. Uncertainty is normal. You can keep moving forward anyway.” ❤️