Quit Tonight...

Keep Going Tomorrow

Hello ♡,

A couple months ago I was speaking at an event for Plywood People, a non-profit in Atlanta. It was a “fireside chat,” and the founder had great questions, some off script. The questions got to my upcoming book. As I looked out at the group of faces of “Social Impact Leaders,” people doing incredible work in their communities and beyond, I had a decision to make. Would I be vulnerable and honest? (Not a requirement.) Or, would I gloss over it and perhaps try to sound like I know what the heck I am doing?

I chose vulnerability and honesty.

I found myself telling this audience of brilliant leaders how I had in fact written my book not once, but twice (a story I still promise to tell you in full one day). I felt the flush that comes with chosen vulnerability - a combination of freedom. alignment, and “oh my god what am I doing?” But I felt like this audience doing world changing work deserved that kind of honesty. And the founder followed up on my vulnerable admission by asking how I did that? How did I indeed write it for a second time?

I told him what I will tell you, and it is part of how I live my life almost every day. It just really works for me. “I quit every night, and then the next morning I kept going.”

(Photo Credit Jayla Head)

I was surprised when I saw someone tag me and my words from that day months ago as an encouragement on social media last week. It felt like my choice to be vulnerable had been a good one.

I have heard many versions of it, but I first heard this idea about quitting for the night from author Glennon Doyle describing her activism work, which through the non-profit Together Rising has been extensive and far reaching. I am using this idea a little less impressively, well a lot less. I just use it for life. Yes for the task of re-writing my entire book. But also for a random Tuesday in which I can’t be touched, bothered, asked another question, inspired or inspiring, or do another task. I am overcooked and “done.” I need to quit on the day.

It is drilled into us never to quit. But then how do we catch our breath? Maybe you prefer less dramatic language like “pause,” or “take a break.” But for me? “Quit” really does it.

Whether it is writing a book or being a good mom, I quit. Every night. I let myself turn in my badge, whichever badge it is. We all wear many. And I rest.

This is a boundary for my soul. I refuse to take the burdens, hopes, worries, tasks, to-do-list, or concern for the world any further that day or to bed. I accept my limitations, and I rest. Just for tonight (every night) I am putting these burdens down.

Part of this magic for me in the whole saying is the second part of the sentence I focus on, “keep going tomorrow.”

I am able to quit for the night because I know I will keep going tomorrow.

Ironically though, I am able to keep going tomorrow because I quit the night before. I am refreshed mentally. And, I know I will quit again at the end of a long, and hopefully productive, day.

The power of knowing I can stop, and in fact QUIT! every single night is a boundary that keeps me from burning out on anything. It is deep relief for my soul and spirit whatever the topic: writing, my work, parenting, or the worries of the world. This combined with the promise to myself that after I quit, I will indeed keep going, provides tracks to run on for me. I get up, try again, and keep going.

My husband began saying “keep going” to me when I decided to pursue writing seriously. I’d write something terrrrible, he’d say, “keep going.” I felt humiliated starting a podcast with zero listeners and an Instagram account with zero followers. He’d lovingly say again, “keep going.” I dreamed of writing and publishing a book but felt galaxies away from that reality…again he’d say, ”keep going.”

I don’t know what it is for you. Maybe you are doing big advocacy work in the world, or maybe you are doing big parenting work at home. Maybe you are in a discouraging season where you keep running into obstacles. Maybe you are fighting hard for something or someone, and it is taking everything you’ve got. Maybe you are trying to create something out of nothing, or be faithful to an idea. Maybe you are trying to find a job or fight for your health.

If it feels like an invitation, try quitting for a night.

Let yourself actually stop, not just pause in rumination. Put it down. Turn in your notice. “ I quit.” Shut the laptop and the topic and watch something stupid on tv. Go for a walk with your dog. Meet a friend for fun. Or if you’re an introvert, text a friend for fun. Go to bed ridiculously early. Look at cookbooks you will never actually cook from. Read a magazine you’d only buy at the airport. Return to an old hobby, one that is preferably incredibly unproductive. Watch a favorite movie. Maybe with popcorn. Or cookies. Or both. Just give yourself an actual break.

Tell yourself you can quit for tonight,. My guess is you need the break.

And then tomorrow?

Keep your promise to yourself, your kids, your dream, or your calling, and keep going. Whatever it is, meet it with a refreshed soul who got to walk away and is re-choosing this: and keep going.

With you,

Monica