Hi ♡,
This is a space where I write from the most honest, current ponderings, and this week my nervous system is tired from the ups and downs over 8 days.
I had a beautiful idea for our Easter newsletter together last week, but I ended up being up all night, waiting through the night…
We almost lost both of our dogs last week. In fact, we were advised to put one of them, Coco, down. I sat there with my son as we cried and pondered our options in the Emergency clinic at 9:15 pm on Saturday night.
And just when she was rescued and recovering, our other beloved dog, Sweetie, was in trouble, and we were told they weren’t sure what her odds were. It was so sad, scary, and exhausting, and it went on all week.
It all started when unpacking from spring break, Coco got into an Ibuprofen bottle no one knew had rolled out. In all our almost 20 years of having dogs we have not had one like her, we’ve never even been to a vet ER. But as the vacuum and unpacking went on around her, she chewed to her poisoning until we caught her.
But they’re still here.
And they are, as far as we can tell with today’s most recent re-check, OK. We are calling them our Easter miracles because we weren’t sure they would make it and we ran into many unexpected obstacles in their recovery. Pile onto that a sick child requiring more than one trip to the doctor to get the right help, and we had a week. I will tell you the rest of the story when it is time, but for now I wanted to share some gratitude and thoughts.
Care is not a limited resource. Neither is compassion.
The few people who walked us through this week were friends and family, and complete strangers. A nurse drove in the middle of the night to rescue my husband, son, and dog who could’t get to a clinic, stranded in their car in the middle of the night, no service like AAA working. The same nurse, who said he is not much of a hugger, accepted my hug later that week as I cried - he did thank me for the donuts and the cards - he said they don’t get thanked very much, and it really helps morale.
Thank you is such an important and powerful phrase, and I can’t say it enough to God, and to the people who helped us.
The vet I cried to in the middle of the night when my husband and son were stranded, lent his car for the rescue mission, and also told me this the next day - We live in a culture of no, and we were talking about what it might be like to be people that say yes.
Each yes makes a huge difference in someone’s life, it did for us.
I am messy at trust, and at prayer, and at faith, there were so many ups and downs and hopes and panics last week, I felt all of it. My friend Becky told me about a sermon she heard on Sunday, and that faith and doubt are sisters. You can’t have faith unless there is a need. And that is a sisterhood I can hold onto.
A man who worked for a tow truck, that I was speaking to at 3:30 am in the morning, in the waiting hours before Easter, listened as I told him about my sick dog stranded on the road. “I think she’s dying,” I told him, explaining our plight. “No,” he said, “You have to speak life.” “OK,” I said, agreeing he was right, realizing I had been rehearsing death.
And he was right. Life did come. And happy endings don’t always come like this, but tonight I am saying thank you, wondering where else I can say yes, remembering faith and doubt are sisters, and speaking life.
Gratefully and messily still here,
Monica
New Still Becoming Podcast Episode!
This is a conversation about creativity - one of my favorite topics. And creativity in the margins of parenting, I hope you are encouraged if this resonates with you.🙏🏼
This conversation is centered around being creative while being a parent, however, I believe there is good wisdom about being creative that can also be applied in other contexts. It can be so hard to create in the margins of your life, and I hope this conversation, and Ashlee's real life example and encouragement will be an invitation to keep going in whatever creativity looks like for you. I appreciated how she names the privileges she has in her creativity, and I appreciated the inspiration she offers anyone wanting to create, and insight about how to move past the roadblocks that you may confront. I am with you in this process, and I found Ashlee's presence and outlook really relatable, kind, and encouraging.
Ashlee Gadd is author of Create Anyway: The Joy of Pursuing Creativity in the Margins of Motherhood and the founder of Coffee + Crumbs @coffeeandcrumbs - a beautiful online space where motherhood and storytelling intersect. As a writer and photographer, Ashlee has spent her entire motherhood creating in the margins. Learn more at ashleegadd.com.
Give those two doggo’s a hug from me. What a harrowing time you’ve had Monica. Take good care.
Wonderful vibrant story of hope and courage!! Viva life!!