I Have No Idea What I Am Doing

A Road Map For Life

Hello ♡,

I am coming to you fresh out of discussions on book covers, subtitles, and the last 2 weeks before my book manuscript is due. (For those of you new here I am writing a book for all of us that will be published next year!)

And, spoiler alert:

I have no idea what I am doing.

Now, this is not entirely true, and this couldn’t be more true.

Photo by Kai Gradert on Unsplash

Let me explain:

I know only to do what I know to do next in the way that my particular brain and heart would think it up or do it. I only know how to write an entire book (it’s too long guys, soooooo many words) the way I would. I only know to craft a subtitle the way I would. I only know how to parent a teen the way I would. I only know how to be in my forties as me. I only know how to grapple with new big hard questions I encounter as myself.

And I have no idea what I am doing - or do I?

We often feel like we have no idea what we are doing when we are doing something we have never done before.

This is often because we equate KNOWING with EXPERIENCE. And maybe these aren’t always the same thing.

And we often confuse KNOWING what we are doing with - will other people approve? These are definitely not the same thing.

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

It is true that I have no idea what I am doing in so many areas of my life - but maybe this is the only way to do new things?

If knowing how to do something means you have experience in it, then that will limit all of us quite a lot.

So maybe for you it is not knowing how to do this new job, or set a boundary, or be a parent or a grandparent, or have a body that is hurting, or end a relationship. Maybe you are trying to be a person, or family, in the world that is completely different from the one you came from. Maybe you are making choices for you body no one around you can relate to. Maybe you are trying to be kind to yourself where you were harsh before. And maybe you feel really out of sorts not knowing what you are doing - because you have never done THIS before.

But maybe you know more than you think.

Maybe you know when something feels right to you, even if it is new. You likely know how you want to feel about something, and what makes you feel more like yourself, and more proud. You probably know why something matters to you (even if it takes a minute to name it). And I bet you know yourself more than you realize. You may remember feeling a “click,” a sense of alignment, an ease, or a deep knowing when something felt right. Remember that for a moment. That, or some version of that unique to you, is often what knowing feels like.

So, maybe you have never done THIS (imagine me waving my hands around) before, but maybe you KNOW more than you think. Maybe the roadmap is not following a map that already exists, but creating it bit by little bit as you go. We will repeat things we have done, and others have done, and this is ok and not usually a worry - but it is the new thing (any type of new!) that we doubt ourselves in. Maybe you have no idea what you are doing, and that IS the roadmap.

“If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's.”

―Joseph Campbell

With you,

Monica

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BOOOOK News!!

My manuscript, due Oct 1, is so very nearly done. I am combing through it, and I will be honest, I like her. I thought from the beginning that I needed to hang out and spend time with my book, and I like her - she is good company, and I hope she will be for you. I hope she will be a companion that makes you feel less alone and helps you find what you are looking for, even if it isn’t in my book.

We are finalizing book covers - floral? plants? minimalist? as I type…I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. I want a beautiful cover that feels like it says: Welcome in, you are safe here. BUT, I am not a designer, so there is a deep translation process happening.

The subtitle continues to be a wrestling match - not with the people but with the words, I will keep you posted.

Thank you for your support, I am so grateful, and hope to make us all proud.

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NEW Still Becoming Episode:

(And the podcast is b-a-c-k after a needed book writing break.)

I love this author, Kayla Craig, and she is a really wonderful person too. Read about her, listen in, and I can’t recommend her book, Every Season Sacred, enough. I have been waiting for a book just like this!

You might know Kayla already from her beautiful book 𝘛𝘰 𝘓𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘞𝘢𝘺, and as the creator of Liturgies for Parents Instagram account. Kayla has a new book out today: 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘚𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥. It is SO good.⁣
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There are so many reasons I love Kayla's work, but here are a few: Kayla meets us in the mess of our real ordinary lives, and shows us the extraordinary and sacred that that meets us there. Kayla is all at once incredibly approachable and practically helpful, while pointing to the beauty, mystery, and undeniable hope God's presence and love provides. She points us to the truth of faith and spirituality right here in our everyday chaos. In a time when it may be hard for many to find voices in the Christian faith they feel they can trust, Kayla for me, and so many others, is an anchoring voice. Kayla reminds us that we are the beloved of God, and describes her hopes for this book as an exhale. And, it truly is. We are invited to be present in this book, and in this conversation with Kayla. Kayla is just wonderful, as a person and author, and I can't wait for you to get to hang out with her in this episode.⁣
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Kayla Craig is a former journalist who brings deep curiosity and care to her writing. She’s the author of Every Season Sacred and To Light Their Way. With a poetic, prophetic voice, she created the popular Liturgies for Parents Instagram account, which Christianity Today named an “essential parenting resource.” She also hosts the Liturgies for Parents podcast. Kayla’s nuanced and accessible reflections, essays, and prayers are featured in various books, devotionals, and Bible studies. Kayla lives in a 115-year-old former convent in her Iowa hometown, where she hopes to create spaces of welcome alongside her four children, two dogs, and husband, Jonny.⁣