Hello ♡,
Let me say up front I am definitely not going to be writing about organizing your drawers and closets. Although I am a big fan of such organizing endeavors, and I do believe they positively impact your mental health, that is not the type of organization I am referring to today.
I am talking about organizing your internal world. Reordering your mind and heart. Recalibrating your soul.
On the freezing sideline for my son’s early morning rainy soccer game I heard these words shouted from the goalkeeper as the boys (almost men) ran back to the midfield after a goal, “Get organized!” It was clear, concise, and I thought as a mom in eighteen layers of clothing on the sideline, inspiring. I also found it surprising. Of all the things that could be yelled to rally the team, organization was not what I expected. But it really made sense as I saw all the players find their spots and re-find their focus.
The call from the back was to regroup. There were no drawers or closets in sight, just intentions, focus, and positions. Organization was how they planned to win. Organization was essential.
And so it is with us.
From a therapist’s perspective, a symptom of many things we suffer through can create a sense of disorganization mentally and emotionally. We get overwhelmed and then we can’t seem to move with clarity and choose with focus when we are disorganized mentally and emotionally. Everything feels urgent. And everything feels like it’s a little (or a lot) out of control. Plates aren’t spinning, they are dropping and cracking. And we often feel defeated. Disorganization is often a sign we need help, a breather, a break, to regroup, or all of the above. And during the holidays? Forget it.
It is in this season I find the call to internal organization even more essential. Maybe some of us need to regroup from this fall still too. The holidays are a lot. They intensify whatever emotions you already have.
Here are my top ways for organizing my internal world. When I have to regroup and I need to call out, “Get Organized!” this is what I focus on.
Prioritize.
Balance is a myth, and an unhelpful one at that. We can’t balance everything, so stop trying to. Prioritization lets you name your non-negotiables that everything else must fall under. For me that is my relationships with my family and friends. Connecting with my kids is always more important than say getting all the laundry done or the holiday “magic” made. Nobody wants a fussy mom begrudgingly making cookies. Connecting first, everything else second (work, to-do lists, expectations, even traditions).
Flexibility.
Rigidity is not our friend. What am I holding onto or insisting on that I could be more flexible with? This helps us to achieve the prioritization of what matters because we are willing to pivot when needed. Being flexible helps you reorganize and regroup as needed.
Letting Go.
What can you let go of? Being on time? Having a well dressed child? Everything being done “perfectly?” When you give yourself permission to let go of things, you often find more space internally and in your schedule.
Radical Acceptance.
This is a term from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It means what it says: radically accepting the present moment and what is happening. Stuck in traffic? Try radically accepting it. I know this isn’t easy, but either is feeling stressed for 20 extra minutes. Accept where you are, what is (or isn’t) happening. It’s a relief.
Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.
All the way back to prioritization. Once you have decided the hierarchy of what is important for you, then protect it with everything you’ve got. Since my main thing is the health of my connections with my people, I block and tackle to protect that.
Accept Your Limitations.
Unfortunately, I have not found a way to keep everyone I love safe, happy, 4and protected every moment of every day. How about you? I have also not found a way to be able to do more than humanly possible, even though I often think (with coffee in the morning) that I can. I have learned to accept my limitations. I am so darn limited in what I can do. This is also a faith practice for me. I combine letting go and accepting my limitations and give my hopes, or worries, or disappointments, to God.
Choose the Simple and Good.
Therapists are so annoying with all our talk about routine and exercise. But it works. It’s all true. I have seen lives begin to change with simple practices reinstated. For me? I exercise, I walk my dogs, I have coffee very early in silence with my stack of books, I pray, I spill my heart to my husband and best friends, I vent to my mom and dad, and I take introvert breaks. I need all of these things regularly, and when I am feeling disorganized internally I reach for the simple and good things I know help me.
What would you add? How do you organize your internal world when you inevitably have to regroup?
“Get Organized” is an invitation to clear the clutter internally and get back to what works.
With you,
Monica
Holiday Break!
I always close my therapy practice for two weeks this time of year. I will be closing my newsletter, podcast, and Instagram too. I look forward to a big holiday exhale, and reconnecting in January!
New Still Becoming Podcast Episode!
Episode 137: Guided Meditation: A Meditation for the Holiday Season
These short guided meditations are ones I wish existed. They are topical, easy to follow, and made to feel therapeutic. They are short and combined with very calming music.
This is a short meditation for the holiday season. Hopefully it can be a quiet moment away for you during this season, however it lands for you.