Hello ♡,
We have two labs we adore, Sweetie and Coco. Sweetie, my soulmate dog (also born on my birthday), thinks she is one of the parents in the family. Coco, adorable and goofy, doesn’t seem to think.
The result? Coco is much more relaxed.
Sweetie, on the other hand, vacillates between staring into your soul and trying to save our youngest child from perceived danger…like riding her bike on our quiet dead end street. Sweetie follows her along the front windows of the house, barking in concern. Coco? She doesn’t seem to notice. Sweetie is high strung, and deeply loving. I can relate. You?
Sweetie and Coco both love to go for a walk. It is their favorite moment of any day, throwing them into a celebratory wrestling match as soon as the word is announced. Sweetie’s fur is jet black and shiny, she is gorgeous. She also, consequently, gets very hot in the Atlanta sun. Not realizing it was going to be so hot, I took them for a walk in the middle of the day. Sweetie, self-appointed protector of me and the world on walks, works hard on these outings. And with that beautiful black fur, she also gets very hot.
We pause often walking, me to stop and think, sometimes pray, them to sniff. Very important stuff. This time, Sweetie began to happily throw her body flat onto the ground in each shady spot we stopped, head down, belly flat, stretching out on the cool patch of grass or moss, sometimes dragging her body forward until she grunted in satisfaction.
It was instinct. She got flat, fast. And she cooled off until the next shady spot. She didn’t stop to think. She didn’t assess, was she really hot or was she overreacting again? She didn’t judge herself for needing shade. She was all instinct.
Overheating? Stop and rest in the shade.
Her nervous system was working beautifully, alternating between stress and re-balancing, all while she sniffed around. I caught on, making sure to stop at each shady spot, which there were thankfully many.
I find, my need for a cool shady spot, in between the “hot” moments filled with emotion, responsibility, concern for the world, worry, parenting, you name it - is important to honor. We all need moments of shade between the hot spots to metaphorically (or let’s be honest, literally), throw our bodies flat on the ground, feel the cool shade, and exhale.
I started thinking about this as we headed home on the walk, stopping each time in the cool shade with Sweetie. And I found it to be an easy metaphor to use for paying attention, honoring what I need, and practice gratitude when I find it.
I reflected, When did I exhale this week? That was a cool shady moment.
Shady spots, moments of relief from the heat for me have been a sweet exchanges with family members, the sound of a fan in the evening humming to the quiet of day ending, holding hands, friends that check-in intentionally, exercise, meditation or prayer in the early morning…connection, quiet, breaks, rest.
Fancy neuroscience language would say these shady moments are moments my parasympathetic nervous system got activated to bring me back to balance and calm. A break from the hot moments of stress, responsibility, or high intensity emotions, that created some stress. It isn’t all bad stress of course, but it requires focused activity. While your sympathetic nervous system carries signals that put your body's systems on alert, your parasympathetic carries signals that relax those systems. The two systems work together to keep your body in balance.
Our parasympathetic nervous system helps us return to balance in calm with things like connection with others, deep breaths, and movement - cool shady moments to exhale.
So, what about you? What are your cool shady moments? When did you exhale this week?
These are a lovely thing to practice noticing, being grateful for, and intentionally repeat. Just like Sweetie on the walk, we can look for, and even create more moments of shade.
Listen for the exhale.
Look for the cool shade.
Repeat.
With you (and so our Sweetie and Coco,)
Monica
Book Update:
Final edits have been turned in and accepted. We are moving on to the next stage - the copy editor! This editor catches all the grammatical errors and typos. I have never been so excited to be examined for errors!
New Still Becoming Episode!!
Episode 126 - Conversation With Dr. Terence Lester and Zion Lester: Learning to See
I am so honored to have Dr. Terence Lester and Zion Lester on the Still Becoming podcast. They recently co-wrote a beautiful and powerful children's book: 𝘡𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘦𝘦. In this wonderful, moving and fun, conversation between co-authors, and also father and daughter, we talk about how 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘎𝘰𝘥. We talk about combating apathy and the power of moving with compassion and kindness to everyone.
Zion and Dr. Lester describe the fun of writing this book together, and also the message. And as a parent, child, reader, and listener you will be compelled to continue seeing other people, growing in your own compassion and action for other people, and learning to live a lifestyle of service. As a bonus, you will also walk away inspired as a parent by spending time with Dr. Lester and Zion, and getting a small glimpse into their relationship, and the importance of vulnerability, connection, and service. And Zion gives some of the most powerful parenting advice I have ever heard.
Dr. Terence Lester is a storyteller, public scholar, speaker, community activist, and author who is the Founder and Executive Director of Love Beyond Walls, a nonprofit organization focused on raising poverty and homelessness awareness and community mobilization.
Zion Lester has loved books all of her life. As early back as she can remember, she has loved to read and loved to write.The 16-year-old Atlanta, GA native is co-author of a forthcoming children’s book. Written alongside her father, a multi-hyphenate preacher, author, and social activist, this children’s book is the story of a young girl who learns the value of helping others. Committed to the cause of helping others, she hatches a plan to recruit others to do the same. It is a personal story mirroring her life as the daughter of two community activists.
https://lovebeyondwalls.org/
https://twitter.com/imTerenceLester/
https://www.instagram.com/imterencelester/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/zionjoylester/
Lovely! The photos of Sweetie and Coco absolutely match the character sketch you wrote about each one. Coco always does find her exhale! And Sweetie’s penetrating gaze shows how hard it is for her to do that. Trying to figure out which to emulate- if I could even accomplish such a self-direction. Once again your words are stimulating and, like Sweetie’s eyes, penetrating. 🌺