Hello ♡,
I was standing in the check out line recently, thinking about a conversation I’d just had over text, while buying an overabundance of baking supplies for one of my children. I was rushed between modes, roles, pick-ups, and I greeted the kind woman checking me out. She surveyed my opinionated baking purchases, looked up and said, “do you need eggs?” I was so confused. She continued,”looks like you will be baking, and I wanted to make sure you have eggs.” It was so kind, so nurturing, so unexpected. I thought about it, and yes I did have eggs at home. But I thanked her for being so thoughtful. Her uncommon kindness in a common moment caught me off guard - in the best way.
People talk a lot about gratitude this time of year, and it can feel like a familiar noisy clanging background. It can feel bossy. It doesn’t land. And it doesn’t click, guide, or soothe our souls in the way gratitude - or noticing the good - really can.
That woman’s uncommon concern for my baking needs felt so soft, human, and connecting in a world that feels increasingly so harsh, violent, and out of control.
The point of gratitude is not to bypass the hard, it’s not to put one more thing on your toppling over to-do list. The point of gratitude is to sink into the soft, the colorful, the beautiful, the human, the connecting moments of our lives. Gratitude helps you be present in an anxious world because you are actively noticing, naming, even savoring the good things in front of you as they occur.
It’s not a should - it’s an opening, a grounding, a rooting into the good around you.
And gratitude works best when it is incredibly, even oddly, specific.
Here’s my list this morning, what is yours?:
That first sip of coffee in the morning.
The Target bathrobe my eldest picked out for me.
The tears over text with my mom about Publix holiday commercials, and old recipes written in my grandmother's handwriting.
The woman checking me out at the grocery store asking, "Do you need eggs?" worried I'd forgotten them.
Those that say they have your back, and you know they mean it.
Tears that fall only with safe people, the kind you have to wait talk to until you are ready to cry, because you know their safety will bring it out of you.
The warmth of new friends you just knew would be wonderful.
The satisfaction of red nail polish.
The sweetness of that red nail polish matching your teen’s for the holiday.
The promise of someone to pray for you everyday at the same time - a reminder set on their phone.
The request every morning from the same child for donuts instead of a healthy breakfast.
A clean/cleaned out purse.
One dog’s insistence to always play ball. Always.
Another dog’s insistence to cuddle at all times with someone.
Warm white (not cold white) Christmas tree lights.
What about you?
Where are the places, spaces, and faces that help you sink into the soft, the colorful, the beautiful, the human, the connecting moments? What is even just one small thing that roots you into the moment you are in now, that feels uncommonly common and lovely to you?
With you,
Monica
Thankful for your calm gentle posts and lovely photos. And for my counselor’s listening ear--a safe place to work through life’s hard things. What a gift!
My answer is a short list right now: "reading you(r column) !!