A Sacred Pause

A Comma, not a Period.

Hello♡,

I say Happy New Year all the time, but what are we really saying? What are we celebrating? Maybe a chance to start fresh, the gift of life in another year, the simple traditions of human celebrations. I am not sure, but being here another year feels like a gift for sure, so does a fresh start.

I am popping in after my holiday break to announce another break…

I am deep in writing, and in some ways rewriting my book. It is taking all my creative focus and energy. One day I will tell you the whole story (and I know I keep saying that) but it isn’t time to now. I will be focusing on this until March 1, and I have realized I need to shutter the windows of my other creative homes until it is finished - including this newsletter, the Still Becoming Podcast, and good old Instagram (which I actually really enjoy! It’s like mini word paintings each day.)

And so I am taking a pause, a sacred intentional pause - and it has me thinking about the power of a pause, and the freedom of a comma, not a period (obviously writing is very on my mind with this metaphor.)

In my years as a therapist, and a human, I have seen how often we need a break, or a shift, and how scary this can feel to do. We think, “Will I be able to come back afterwards? Will I be able to keep up the new shift? Will I miss out? Is it better just to push through?”

It can feel scary to take a break from anything because we are often taught to think in such all/or nothing terms. There is little room for nuance, changing your mind, and just being tired in our go-go hustle culture. We are overfed on scarcity culture, as Dr. Brené Brown teaches, believing there is never enough so we have to keep pushing. But maybe there are many other ways, a pause being just one.

The New Year (with all of it’s celebrations and social media pressure with New Year/New You ads) is certainly an odd time to explore the idea of pause. But I kind of like it even more for that reason.

It is in the pause we often hear what we couldn’t hear before.

Think about the pause in a conversation.

If you really stop to listen, and not fill the awkward silence, you may see how the other person is fiddling with their bracelet, or looking down sadder than you realized, or beaming at you with some hope of truly connecting with you.

The pause is often where we hear ourselves and hear others.

Words are essential, but the pause allows all the other cues we can’t hear under the sound of our voices to take center stage - the eye contact (or shift in it), the posture, the sigh, the hope even.

So, as I pause for these 2 months, I wonder what a pause means to you? Where is there room for a comma, not a period in your business-as-usual life? Where could stepping back, getting quiet, stepping away even help you to hear/see/and feel other things you haven’t yet? What could you discover in a pause of some sort?

Maybe it is a pause in a scrolling habit, maybe it is a pause in a pleasing habit. Maybe it is a pause in the habit to be too hard on yourself in the New Year/New You push. I don’t know what it is, or if there is one waiting for you.

I already feel the space of my pause, and smiled back at the evening sky on the way to soccer with my son last night.

In my pause, I will be intentionally quiet (apart from the loving chaos of loved ones). And in that space I hope to hear even more clearly the signal of this book that I can’t wait to deliver to you. My favorite creative home has been this newsletter and my podcast, and I can’t wait to throw the doors and windows back open in the Spring. I will miss you, and I look forward to reuniting in March!

With you,

Monica