What Can We Do When the World is So Scary and Violent?
Hi,
It is all a lot isn't it?
That is the conversation I have had over and over with friends and in the therapy room.
What do we do when the world is so scary and so violent?
Well, what we often want to do is bury our head in the sand, to hide, to numb out.
It can all feel like TOO MUCH.
And this is because it IS too much. It actually is.
Take a moment to validate that.
Violence and trauma rip through what is right, good, hopeful, and peaceful in the world. And so responding to it with a deep sense of feeling overwhelmed makes sense and is an indication that we are witnessing trauma.
But what do you do on an average day when you have to pay bills, and make breakfast, and you feel like it is all too much?
A few simple steps (remember when things are most overwhelming, simple practices become even more important):
Name what you feel: I find that naming fear, grief, anger, hopelessness... is a good place to start. It helps you locate yourself on the emotional map instead of a blurry sense of overwhelm.
Make empowered choices where you can: A hallmark part of traumatic events is the sense of feeling out of control. Reminding yourself of where you have small choices of control in your life is grounding - take a walk, choose a nourishing meal, be intentional in small ways that uniquely matter to you. What is one thing you could choose to do today that feels good and right to you?
Channel your grief and anger: A next step in making empowered choices is helping our neighbors. This is not only good for the world, it is good for us too. One of the most grounding things you can do is take action. It doesn't have to be big - call your senator, donate to leaders on the ground... But that small action takes you from a disempowered place to an empowered place - an important posture of healing in trauma work. Where can you be empowered? Personally, I find this to be hugely important for me. It's not just I express my values, but it is selfishly how I cope with mass tragedy and hatred. (Moms Demand Action is a great place to start if you want to get involved with gun control.)
Limit your media intake: We need to be informed to be responsible and love our neighbor. But mindless scrolling and refreshing of news pages isn't that. Sometimes when I am so sad I over consume media because I just want to make it better - nonsensical right? I am subconsciously trying to make sense of the story by reading more and more and more. That is when I go back to the above step, to channeling my grief into action. Your nervous system is also not created to be in a state of panic and stress as frequently as 24 hour news offers. We must rest our eyes, ears, hearts, and systems.
Rest: We must rest. You are no good to anyone else if you are burned out. Rest is required. Everything that is happening, that has happened, is being processed through your body. Rest it to keep going. Keep going in grieving, in taking action, and channeling anger for change. Grief, anger, and rest need each other.
Look for beauty: Look for the good and the beautiful in the smallest of ways. Gratitude is not "being grateful anyway" - that bypasses our pain. Gratitude is "being grateful also" - in addition to the hard things.
Move your body: One of the brilliant ways our bodies are designed to metabolize stress through movement. It doesn't have to be fancy or hard. It can be a simple walk around the block. But give it at least 20 minutes, and let the movement help you move the stress you are holding up and out of your body. Sometimes when we are really stressed we may even cry during this movement, this is a good thing. Let it out. (For those that are differently abled meditation is a good alternative.)
Connect to someone: Connect to someone you love. We are made to connect, it soothes and grounds us. Reach out and give a hug, a text, or a call. You will both be glad for it.
You make sense. This is too much.
Practicing these things with you,
Monica 🖤
I loved talking with Becca Clegg on her Inner Alchemy Podcast. What a fun conversation. "STILL BECOMING, MAKING SPACE TO HEAR YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, AND THE LIES WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES" Listen here!
The here App now has visual meditations in the archives. I love them.
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𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬
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This is such a refreshing conversation!!
I am so excited to have Kendra Adachi of @thelazygenius on the Still Becoming Podcast. This conversation is so rich. We talk about everything from cook books to therapy, and all the things in between. It is my favorite kind of conversation - one that moves from humor, to depth, to everyday life,
Kendra Adachi is a two-time New York Times bestselling author of The Lazy Genius Way and The Lazy Genius Kitchen. Her podcast, The Lazy Genius Podcast, has over 15 million downloads and covers everything from cooking chicken to making friends. As a systems expert and professional permission-giver, Kendra helps others stop doing it all for the sake of doing what matters. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and three kids.
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Finally,
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
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