What Is All This Science Saying??🙉
Hi♡!
I am coming to you this week from deep within a therapist's world 🤓.
I have spent the last week in a trauma research conference. And let me tell you, researchers are not the most compelling presenters. It has been a long few days.
And to be even more honest the conference was a huge disappointment and I had a running text thread going with my fellow therapists in the same conference asking things like:
what is happening?
And sending pictures like these:
There was a huge disconnect between research and what can be applied to actually help people in need of healing. There was also a huge disconnect between researchers proudly displaying their work and NO actual application for practicing therapists watching.
(To be fair to my field, there is SO MUCH fantastic research that does readily apply to work with clients, that we all use - and the presenters got better...)
It got me thinking about a lot of things, including the disconnect between head knowledge and what actually helps and heals on the ground. And how much it is important to have both research and practice, but one must feed the other in service of helping people heal.
But the thing that really jumped out at me this week was that in the middle of lots of big words (I mean like seriously the biggest words ever) used over and over again, referencing the brain, referencing how the brain changes with trauma, etc...the one thing so many researchers kept coming back to (no matter the inaccessible treatment approach or big brain words) was that healing is embodied with a life of:
SELF COMPASSION.
Record scratch - wait what?? (I mean I knew this, but to hear it like this was different).
With words like "nodules," and "reduced hippocampal volume," and "echophenotypes," the goal and the healing state we are trying to get people to is embodying self compassion.
Self compassion is being kind to yourself instead of harsh, understanding with yourself instead of judgmental, soft with yourself instead of hard, nurturing to yourself instead of withholding. It is giving yourself the gentleness we all need to live, but so often crawl through life without.
So, self compassion is not just a cute Instagram or Facebook post.
No, self compassion is what we are trying (with millions in research and years of studies) to help people find.
Self compassion is well being.
The good news for you and me from this common thread of SELF COMPASSION in all this heavy research is that we can know each time we practice self compassion by:
lovingly resting when we need to
doing something kind for ourselves
not judging ourselves
embracing instead of berating our reflection
loving ourselves like we would a child
We are practicing one of the goals of healing.
The research shows that self compassion helps us heal, and is a hallmark indicator of the lives of those who are healing from trauma.
So, it't not "woo woo" or "navel gazing" to practice self compassion - it is literally life changing.
Let's try it in one small moment today. What is one thing you could be kinder and less judgmental with yourself about?
Your brain will thank you. And you don't even have to know all the crazy words used about the brain to know your brain will exhale and so will you.
practicing with you,
Monica🖤
In case you missed it!!! Sample here🖤 A new way to engage with therapeutic content - I am so excited to be a co-creator of the here app.
Watch a short video to get the vibe of what we are trying to create!
In a world where you’re pulled in so many different directions, here app. provides a daily space where nothing is expected of you except to be here.
The here app. delivers a 2-minute dose of audio each weekday to help you do just that. We pick a theme for the month, and have daily teachings, meditations, or reflections.
Think of the here app. as the welcoming friend that reminds you of what is most true and helps you take a moment to be present in a way that fits your busy schedule. Give yourself the gift of a few minutes each day to just be here, in the moment.
Sign up, and hang out with me there every weekday!
𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
"A Short Mental Health Moment"
𝘌𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘥𝘦 𝟷𝟶𝟺
13 min
This guided mediation is a little different - but it is still a chance for each of us to practice a mindful moment away from the noise of the world to reset and ground ourselves.
This week we have a brief, light, airy mental health moment for our meditation. We will practice some really solid mental health coping skills - grounding in the present by paying attention to our surroundings to get back into our bodies, honoring what we are doing right, self forgiveness, and validating ourselves. It's just a break from your day and hopefully something you can return to again. This one is really good for a walk or a drive if applicable.
𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 "𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶."
Finally,
“If light is in your heart, you will find your way home.”
-Rumi
PS - An important next step for publishers to consider my big book I am writing is to have a substantial email subscription list. This, thank goodness, has become my favorite way to connect and serve with the work I do creatively. But, I need your help - if this newsletter is meaningful to you can you point people you know to subscribing to it also? Here is the link: Subscribe. You can just copy and paste it to them. Thank you so much.