Trust Feels Like β€οΈπ§‘πππππ€π€π€
Hi β‘,
What do you think about the topic of trust - in a spiritual sense?
There is a simple and telling way I know where my trust is resting, and where it is not.
It is not a measurement, but the way I am experiencing the world.
When I am going through the motions of life without trust,
I feel like a drawing being drained of color,
the pigment runs off the page and I am left living in an outlined sketch.
I find when the color begins to drain from my experiences, or when I feel like I am living only two-dimensionally and flat - this is when I usually find I am also disconnected in my spiritual life. I donβt notice beauty as much, and I feel almost tin-like to beauty - it bounces off of me and I canβt receive it.
I lose my curiosity and openness in the small moments. I lose openness to the way the light comes through the blinds mid-morning, the way I received a loving text just when I needed it, or the way my heart echoes the same line of my favorite song. All these little moments are what make life rich and colorful, and when I am not in a place of trusting I find myself more numb to them. I feel the shift away from the brightness of color and curiosity to a more flat, survival mode.
Trust is a funny thing.
Itβs not a linear equation for me, it is more of a posture.
When I am trusting God (maybe it something else for you)Β and connected, I feel like my eyes are actually open more to everything.
I donβt walk through life holding my breath or steeling myself against the next worry.
The thing is though, when we are closing in on ourselves in order to shield ourselves from the pain and worry, we donβt just shut out the hard stuff. When we shut ourselves down, we shut out all the feelings - the good and the bad, the hard and the beautiful, the sadness and the joy. Because we canβt selectively numb ourselves. And so the colorful parts of life, the way your coffee smells early in the morning, or the way your stomach flips to see that person you love, can all feel muted.
I struggle to really experience life without an anchor of trust because it is just too scary out there and in here, without a knowing and loving hand to hold onto.Β
We know from Attachment Research that an emotionally safe and secure attachment is essential to our sense of well-being, healing, and growth. And I believe this can apply to our spiritual life as well. When we feel trust that provides a sense of grounding in this world, we can allow ourselves to unfold more in the way we would in the presence of someone we love and feel safe with. Steeling ourselves is understandable, and at times necessary even. However, trustΒ can allow for the softness to also be present because we know we are not alone.Β
It takes trust for me to allow myself to feel. And when I allow myself to feel I almost unfold in a way. It is like my heart, where it was folded in on itself in a form of protection, starts to slowly open and to feel again.
And this starts to let all the colors in again.
The drawing fills in with rich brightness, like someone just painted the sketch.
What does it feel like for you when you are in a place of trust?
Sending you all the colors,
β€οΈπ§‘πππππ€π€π€
Monica
Recent Episodes:
Episode 102-
Therapeutic Moment Episode:β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£β£
Everyday Ordinary Braveβ£β£β£β£β£
ππ±πͺπ΄π°π₯π¦ 102
16 minβ£β£β£β£β£β£
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In this short calming episode put to music we are talking about all the ordinary everyday brave moments where we choose discomfort and do what we need to do. There are so many! So often people, and self help culture, are always "bettering and bettering" to an exhausting point. In this episode we focus on defining the everyday brave moments, discomfort masquerading as fear, and a gentle forward motion of celebrating where we are and what we are doing while making room to continue that. Our lives are not made of highlight reels and large moments, they are made of everyday ordinary choices, and those are our focus this week.
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We're continuing with our new genre of Still Becoming episodes. Therapeutic Moments are a combination of some of the teaching of the Mental Health Check Ins, the calming of the Meditative Stories and the Guided Mediations.
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"Trust is the basis of life. Without trust, no human being can live. Trapeze artists offer a beautiful image of this. Flyers have to trust their catchers. They can do the most spectacular doubles, triples, or quadruples, but what finally makes their performance spectacular are the catchers who are there for them at the right time in the right place.
Much of our lives is flying. It is wonderful to fly in the air free as a bird, but when God isnβt there to catch us, all our flying comes to nothing. Letβs trust in the Great Catcher."
-Henri Nouwen
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I hope we feel all the colors in our lives this week.
PS - An important next step for publishers to consider the book I'm writing is to have a substantial email subscription list. This, thank goodness, has become my favorite way to connect and serve with the work I do creatively. But I need your help: If this newsletter is meaningful to you can you point people you know to subscribing to it also? Here's the link. You can just copy and paste to share it. Thank you so much. β€οΈΒ