What Gratitude Isn't ðŸ’ðŸ’ðŸ’
Hello,
I've been wondering about gratitude.Â
I spend an awful lot of time thinking about it because I hear so many people beating themselves up for "not being more grateful." And so, I often wonder if there is a different way we can think about this - with less shame, and more honesty.Â
What if all the ways we think about gratitude are part of why it can be difficult to practice?
♡Gratitude is not something we tell other people to be.
I think this is our first misstep. We don't get to tell other people to be grateful, in my opinion. This is because we are not living their life. And, often in our limited perspective we end up preaching something AT someone without fully understanding their reality. And when we get this kind of gratitude "advice" ourselves, it may feel a lot like invalidation.
Gratitude is a personal choice.
From your own place on the map, with its own privileges and hardships, hopes, joys and heartbreaks...it is from there that we each choose gratitude. Â
♡Gratitude it not All or Nothing.
You are never all of one thing, including grateful, at any moment. You might have 2 to 20 different feelings at the same time.Â
Gratitude always includes the both/and.
You may be both angry and grateful, both filled with heart-sick longing and joy. Feeling hard feelings does not disqualify me from also feeling deep gratitude. I can be nervous for an opportunity and grateful for it at the same time. I can need a break from parenting, and feel so thankful for the love that comes with the noise and the mess.
♡Gratitude is not a performance.
This is one of the biggest deterrents to the practice of gratitude. We feel so guilty that we are not more grateful, and the pressure to perform (even for no real audience) steals the power of the posture.
Gratitude is just noticing.
I like to think of gratitude as just mindfully noticing what is around me. Soft pillow, sweet child's smile, stinky happy dog...the list can go on. When I am just noticing, yes I will see everything, both the difficult and beautiful, but that honesty is where I believe gratitude can really grow.
What do you think?
I LOVED being on the Love or Work Podcast.
Listen here as I talk with the kind and hilarious hosts about Supporting Your Partner.
LOVE OR WORK IS A PROJECT OF PLYWOOD PEOPLE!
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Recent Episodes:
Episode 93 (I have already heard from many about this episode. I am so glad it resonated, especially because I almost scrapped it!)
Mental Health Check - In: Navigating Complex, or Difficult, Relationships During the Holidays.
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I am loving these podcasts:
Her Story Speaks
I especially loved listening to this 4 part series:
Celebrating Black Womanhood
and
Be The Bridge Podcast
Finally, one of my favorite quotes:
"The truth is like a lion; you don't have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself."
-Augustine of Hippo
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